another week has passed.
just came back from dinner.

let me recall about the past week.
mon to fri,
as usual.
school.
but less trgs.
fri was a great day.
HAHA.
looks like fridays are always gd!
coz...
1) i ended early.
2) there was surprisingly no trg.
3) there was a surprise.
4) watched body #19.
5) i was happy!
hahaha.
body #19's story line was kind of complicated.
but it was really scary.
i mean the pictures.
and the sound.
like there was twice when i didnt expect anything to happen,
but it did.
so fine,
i jumped.
BUT actually it was only once.
coz the other time i got a shock by ur movement.
so that was not me.
>.<
so anw.
ytd was quite a busy day.
with surprises too!
we went for the chingay CIP.
supposed to hv trg in the morning.
but whn i woke up i saw jq's msg tt said trg changed to sunday.
surprise no. 1.
so i stared at my phone for a while.
thinking "so am i supposed to wake up to go for CIP?"
marilyn's msg came in soon aft tt to answer my qn.
so we went for cip at rj.
poor marilyn gt so worried that she was in a different grp from us.
hahaha.
we had some ice breakers.
n i had to do a forfeit for one of the games.
man.
i hate these concentration games!
marilyn was the only one out of the 4 of us who didnt need to do a forfeit.
and that's surprise no. 2!
hehe.
did some role playing discussion aft tt.
our poor leader was trying to get us to discuss but most of us were like either stoning or talking among ourselves.
hoho.
had lunch tgt with some of the bball guys.
den headed with jq n ly to home u for trg.
YES. trg was ytd 2 to 4 not today 2 to 4.
and that's surprise no. 3!
haha.
mr sham is forever so last min.
=.=
okay.
so i trained with my "wrong" shoes.
urgh.

and when i gt home from trg.
i basically just did homework till now.
okay.
plus the 11hours of sleep from last nite.
=)
n the meals i had.
i tried to complete as much as i can.
but i cant seem to clear them.
n there's chem test tml.
URGH.
im so going to flunk it.
there's just around an hour or so for me to consolidate everything and go to bed.
hoho.
GDNITE.

another supposedly happy day which turned out rather bad.
it's back.
back to haunt me.
the things i want not to remember.
the truth i want not to accept.
the courage i still lack to face it.
the dilema im still struggling with.
why.
why hv things turned out this way?
despite all the efforts put in.
and the hard work in keeping it going.
the question comes back yet again.
drifting into my blank mind every now and then.
me, trying to push the thought away.
thinking that i can live in deception.
a dream that i have to awake from.
a dream that seemed so real.
a dream that i nv wanted it to end.
but it seems like there's not much of a choice now,
have i?
okay.
except for that ONE solution.
but i ask myself.
would i be happy doing that just to keep it going?
is that what im seeking ultimately?
there's not much of a choice now.
nothing i do would make a difference.
it will still end so tragically.
it's either now or later.
unless i choose that path.
to let my misery end here or to just drag it through the remaining days?
or to take a risk again.
not knowing whether i'll be able to accept the change.
not knowing whether i'll be happy like this.
not knowing whether things would turn out the way we wanted.
so many uncertainties.
too many.
i dont even dare to believe in them anymore.
hopes.
dreams.
now i realise,
it doesnt exist.
and that'll be wad life is all about.

not knowing which step to take next.
i just lie here waiting aimlessly.
still hoping for a miracle.
maybe all these should have just been a really sweet dream...

okay.
another week gone.
no time to blog.
or rather,
no time to even come online.
my homework pile has become taller.
all the work i hv during the weekdays are just pushed to my weekend.
so weekends are very important to me!
man.
the "effort" i have put in to TRY to clear it during the holidays...
and the pile is increasing in height by the days...
URGH.
the uncompleted hol hw PLUS the daily hw...
the hill will slowly turn into a mountain!
anw.
it looks like i just have to blog on perhaps a weekly basis.
for now.
mayb i might be able to complete my work and hv some free time to drop by more often next time?
FAT HOPE.
kae.
so it looks like this blog will go dead soon.
occasionally coming back to life...

had trg in the morning today.
it was pretty fine.
just that i didnt quite like 1-on-1.
but okay.
i noe this IS bball.
wad else can i expect.
but let's just say i prefer other drills better =)
but 1-on-1's fine when mr sham's the defender!
hahaha.
coincidentally,
we all wore our TEAM NJ shirts except poor marilyn.
great minds think alike!
hehe.
as usual, we went for lunch aft tt.
followed by donut factory.
hmm.
a few of them are nice lah.
coz we bought a box of 6 to try!
aft eating,
jq n ly started playing some silly coin game...
=.=''
haha.
i was stoning there =P
no lah.
quite entertaining to see them behave like kids u noe...
HOHO.
went home finally after that.
hmmm.
managed to complete gp, econs and pyhsics!
quite satisfied!
=D
although there's chem which i hv yet to complete...
okay.
i'll do it before i go out tml morning!
hopefully.
and later i got to continue re-copying my math hw!
GRRR.

ytd was a GREAT DAY!
no.1 lessons ended early!
no.2 trg was enjoyable and quite fun!
no.3. i managed to solve a few math qns.
no.4 the bus ride home was long and enjoyable for once!
no.5 i didnt get scolded by my g.aunt for going trg.
WHOO!
yay yay yay.
i love ytd!
156 was crawling.
yet i wasnt cursing.
hahaha.
under the dark sky, we walked home hand in hand...

going shopping tml...
argh.
the whole of tml gone.
gdbye!
n probably i'll drop a post again a week later...

the weekend is ending.
the days that passed were pretty the same.
some highlight would perhaps be the CCA carnival on fri.
as u could hv guessed,
i was just slacking at the booth.
haha.
but i helped in making the souvenirs!
=)
as for ytd,
we had trg at home u.
the j1s didnt come but the seniors came.
left aft lunch.
hoping to complete some study related stuff.
did a bit of this n that.
today i didnt really do much.
tried to do vectors tut again but still very lost.
i nid help!
i just printed the econs stuff.
and tried to read.
nothing much accomplished today.
but something i managed to do over this weekend-
caught up on my slp!
looking forward to shooting tml!
hopefully i dun get cheated again...
well,
dreading the upcoming week...
where homework starts piling up...

it's the first day of sch today!
couldnt fall aslp last nite perhaps i was too excited?
NAH.
but i just couldnt slp.
woke up EARLY this morning hoping that i'll be on time for our team talk!
but no.
boarded the bus at 6 exactly but only reached sch at 7.20!!!
GOSH.
it's all bcoz of the jam from after cjc all the way to hci!
>.<
but apparently ALOT of ppl were late too.
so jq postponed our talk :)
okay.
den i was SHOCKED by a piece of news from lauren.
about ha.
okay.
quite surprising.
but i respect ur decision.
JIAYOU to the rest of us remaining!!
jq arrived the lastest and we appauded...
haha.

and then.
assembly.
okay.
we werent late.
for once!
at least the maktab command wasnt given yet.
lessons started from the second period.
ECONS.
yay!
just an intro.
the tcher was quite nice lah.
next was GP.
lucky enough to hv a nice tcher too!
actually she looks fierce but she's quite cute actualy whn she smiles =)
she was SO nice tt she only used one period and dismissed us one period early for lunch! (we had double period u see)
there's only SHERALYN and me from our class.
but i noe JIEQI too!
hee.
and it's like ALL the girls in her pw group also in the same gp class!
n i noe sashti n jufri!
n tt's all =.=
sheralyn and i were practically rotting aft gp coz it seemed like no other classes were dismissed early.
urgh.
so we waited and waited.
saw lauren n marilyn while rotting.
actually i was quite happy to see them!
=D
mayb is coz as jq said,
everytime we see our fellow bball mates arund in sch,
we feel the LOVE!!!
hahaha.
econs lect aft tt was boring.
then chem tut.
the tcher just started on tutorial qns just liddat!
GOSH!
he didnt even ask us to say our names or wad lor!
=.="
i was so SHOCKED by his "dis-interest" in us.
CAAL was so super long.
i tot it was only one period lah!
but no!
it was much longer than tt.
the timetable tricked me!

aft sch.
had trg.
supposed to be coach but cancelled.
coz scared the court cant dry soon enough.
we ran 400m X 10 rounds.
it was quite tiring.
suprising,
our timings improved!
jq n marilyn run SO fast!
n mr sham say jq is a guy now!
hahaha.
poor u!
did a very long shooting drill aft running.
the 3pt shots made me very tired i guess.
but overall,
the shots were fine.
just that i hv to change my way of standing.
okay.
we did 1-on-1 after that.
and guess wad?!
i fell AGAIN!
goodness.
fy was saying it seemed like i fell on my own with some invisible force pushing me.
BUT no!
the truth was that our dear MARILYN stepped on my foot!
so it's like i wanted to move back but my feet got STUCK under marilyn's foot.
hahaha.
so i fell backwards.
BUT this time i was clever enough to land on my hands!
abit of skin scratch but it's fine le :)
much better than landing on my butt!
hehe.
but anw,
stepping on ppl's foot once was not enough!
so after a while,
the same thing happened!
this time,
the victim is JIEQI!!!
hahaha!
i dunno where she landed =P
but she told me to blog bout this to show how marilyn "bullies" us.
marilyn,
not bad arhhh.
scheming strategy!
okay,
but well,
she apologised on the bus le n gave me a kiss too!
not real kiss lah!
so jieqi,
forgive marilyn whn she give u kiss tml oso kae?
=P
aft trg,
left with lauren.
waited for bus for SO long!
until fang yu came out.
and it stil didnt come.
waited until marilyn come out den the bus finally came!
man!
my g.aunt was quite angry >.<
kae.
stopping here to go to bed.
there's morning trg tml.

resolutions:
to not repeat the same foolish mistakes;
procrastination.
the lack of passion in everything.
wasting money on unnecessary stuff.
trusting easily.
and keeping so quiet.