especially for
Monday, April 28, 2008
this very day.
i dreaded for 15.20 to come.
i told myself it's just another game.
another normal game.
but deep down,
yes.
i was scared.
and stressed too.
i believe many of us felt tt way.
we warmed up.
who would hv thought it would be our last.
n then the game started before we even managed to finish our warm up.
so tensed.
n scared.
me and my butter fingers;
my weak hands.
i lost the first ball.
so i told myself it's okay to make mistake but i hv to learn from it.
shot a couple of shots.
i wasnt very accurate today.
sigh.
mayb i should hv heeded bernard's advice.
yes,
i should hv eaten more.
so tt i will hv more energy perhaps?
third quarter was better played.
but we lost our momentum perhaps we were tired already?
but i know the team played our best.
though coach said we were too tensed up.
jieqi told us to smile.
she said it helped.
so i tried.
but not long later,
the final whistle blew...
the feeling was just so,
URGH.
for a moment i was wiling to give up everything to get into the next round.
i didnt mind flunking common tests;
at all.
yes,
IF only that could happen i would give up everything for it to happen.
but as i've mentioned many times,
there are no 'if's in this world.
if there were,
if we had known the outcome,
we would hv treasured every single moment we had with each other more.
we would hv cherished many things we had just taken for granted.
we would hv known it was better to relax and to play the game with less stress.
dinner was just dinner...
the juniors treated us to dessert.
thanks!
and thanks for the birthday song too!
now i take it tt u ppl hv celebrated by birthday already and i wun be expecting anymore birthday celebrations!
okay.
i apologise for hving to rush hme,
yet again,
even though tonite's dinner would be one of the last few i would be hving with u ppl.
train-ed hme alone.
for my team...
memories came back.i quote "it's the memories that count" (from jieqi).
yes.
time passes.
and memories live on.
when i first came to nj,
i told myself i would NEVER join bball again.
it's funny how humans are.
i joined bball again,
after the many procrastinations i had.
i kept telling ling yi another day perhaps whn she invited me to come for trg.
but there came a day when i finally joined bball,
it was a whole new experience.
something different.
something which u wan to be part of.
something u would be proud to be part of too.
the first trg.
it was a match between the seniors and juniors.
i scratched myself trying to save the ball.
and that was when i knew this team's different from the one i came from.
xinni, the captain then,
was encouraging n caring.
everyone else were frenly and treated me as part of the team.
though i only stayed for half the camp,
it was fun.
it would hv been more if i knew everyone else better.
and from then,
mr sham had always been kind to me...
i had always seen attending trgs as a resposibility,
rather than a passion.
sometimes i dreaded trgs.
i admit it was most of the times.
2007 A'div came n went before i even knew it.
i cant really recall wad really happened then.
perhaps bcoz i had yet to commit to the team at the point of time.
after A'div,
trgs resumed after a long break.
they werent tt tough.
though i still hated dem.
but the team gt closer.
and i felt we were more "together".
we were more bonded as a team though we were very small.
there were many times whn i felt so cheated.
but as time passed i got used to it.
occasionally not minding being cheated,
if that meant cancelling trg.
there was the fund raising thing we had.
where we sold ice cream.
i didnt really participated in it until the very last day whn we were desperate to clear all our ice cream.
going around the canteen to ask ppl to buy them...
eating the ice creams ourselves...
giving ppl so many scoops at a low price.
and then came the nov/dec holidays.
i SO hated trgs then.
(alright, u may say since when did i love trg =P haha).
i hated hving to be sandwiched between trgs and my g.aunt.
my team expects me to attend all trgs.
and my g.aunt expects me to train less.
the feeling of being sandwiched between both sucked.
i often cried in the showers after trg,
asking myself y i had decided to put myself in such a situation.
i believe my team mates hv gone thru this too.
it's not just me.
the holiday trgs were the hardest to live past.
we had around 32 days of trgs in the 2 months.
and not forgetting there were days when we had double trg.
morning and afternoon.
trained in the morning.
bathed.
lunch-ed.
had our study session which was just so ineffective.
trained again in the evening.
there were also the track trgs...
sometimes i just wanted to give up after a few rounds.
i was so tired.
and it was so stressful to hv jieqi and marilyn running so much faster than me every round.
but no.
i told myself i hv no reason to stop running.
i was well and fine.
i am able to finish running the 10 rounds.
i will not be bothered about how slow i run.
i will just try my best to keep up with jieqi and marilyn,
and sometimes fang yu.
and yes,
we perservered.
we managed to pull thru the so many track trgs.
we dreaded it each time.
but we finished them too.
the sense of satisfaction we gained from them each time we completed.
nothing can replace these.
the encouragement we gave one another.
we cheered one another on.
the amount of sweat we gave.
the amount of effort put in during each trg so far...
when the new year started we prayed for more j1s.
so tt we can form a team.
so tt our hard work would not go to waste.
we got wad we wished for.
we had our juniors.
we went on the m'sia trip together.
the nights spent tau-pok-ing jieqi,
the nights we spent slping together.
the nights spent eating pizzas and chicken wings.
the days we spent travelling on the bus;
eating,
slping,
playing games,
doing silly forfeits.
the rare opportunities we had to catch a glimpse of one another's ugliest moments:
how we looked when we wake up;
so unkempt and untidy.
how jieqi, fangyu and marilyn looked when they wore glasses at night.
how marilyn slept with her half opened eyes on the bus.
this trip was wad drew us closer together.
we had no one else but one another.
laughing loudly late into the nights,
nights which some of us shared a "common dream" as mr sham said,
noisy ones which the bball guys complained about.
but we did not care.
the times we spent together during this trip were probably the one of the most memorable ones...
when we got back to s'pore we played hard for the frenly matches as well as the important 2008 A'div.
we were a team of 10 plus 2 loyal supporters (marilyn n lauren!).
small but determined.
so many matches.
we gave our all till the very end,
never giving up.
it pained us when any of us were down (whether it's injured, sick or got fouled out),
but the rest continued fighting hard for the team,
not wanting to disappoint anyone.
on court,
we jumped,
we ran,
we boxed out.
when we fell,
we got up,
and we tried again.
we never gave up during the game;
even when sometimes circumstances seemed to be against us.
that was wad really mattered.
our positive attitude.
our sportsmanship.
our passion for the game.
our love for the team.
the fun we had playing as a team.
the times we spent together...
and yet,
all these have to end;
so abruptly.
i noe jieqi wouldnt mind get accused by mr sham for something she hvnt done,
lingyi wouldnt mind sneaking out of her house for trgs,
fangyu wouldnt mind hving many more cold wars with her parents,
gerry wouldnt mind sacrificing her busy schedule,
and i wouldnt mind getting scolded and being ignored by my g.aunt,
if all these meant we could continue playing as a team...
BUT
i quote "the truth always hurts" (from mr sham).
yes,
it does.
it hurt so much i hvnt slept well for the past 2 nights,
i hvnt paid attention during lessons for the past 2 days.
i kept thinking bout the team,
about all the tough trainings we went thru together,
about our friendship,
about how special and important each one of u are to me.
it's hard to let go.
just too hard.
the truth not just always hurt but it always hit me hard and sudden too.
many things left undone,
words left unsaid,
but the time has come.
no more tough trgs.
no more feeling of being cheated.
no more scoldings from my g.aunt bcoz of trgs.
no more need to choose between pleasing my g.aunt and attending trg.
no more need to run home from the bus stop to make it hme on time.
no more "inspiring" sentences from me.
no more craps from me during trg.
no more falling down on my butt.
so,
grab me one last look,
and then i'll wave goodbye..
i hv gladly sacrificed my bedtime to finish this post for my team tonight because i want them to noe that deep down,
i love them.
i really do.
thanks for these unforgettable moments.
thanks for being there for me every time i needed u ppl.
thanks for being understanding and not blaming me for not attending some trgs.
thanks for training so hard with me these one year or so.
thanks for ur encouragement all these while.
thanks for ur belief and confidence in me.
thanks for ur forgiveness when i committed mistakes on court.
and lastly,
thanks for making such great team-mates!
let's treasure our friendship and keep these memories with us forever...
coach, mr sham and mr koh,
thanks for ur guidance along the way,
in helping me improve and become a better player.
thanks to the bball guys,
for cheering for us no matter what.
jiayou for ur second rounds and we'll be there to cheer u ppl on!
valerie loves NJBBALL'08.
