this is my territory

a big quarrel

Saturday, May 03, 2008

ytd was an interesting day.

one which i experienced many feelings in just 24 hours.

early morning,

i was happy to go to sch to meet ppl i hvnt seen for a day.

reached sch.

got a shock.

saw some note that said something like "u may think u look familiar here..."

so i tot,

another bday celebration for someone!

but heck,

i'll nv noe tt person.

den i found myself looking at this picure that really seemed familiar.

it was jq!

gosh.

den i tot,

haha,

they playing a trick on jq again,

poor jq.

and then,

i saw fy's picture!

how come sabo jq oso gt fy's pic?

weird.

looked again n URGH.

mine!

O.O

RAHHHH!!!

gt a big shock.

didnt noe how to react,

but so paiseh.

walked to grandstand and saw the juniors preparing balloons and stuff..

hmmm?

wad were they doing.

well,

it turned out they were hving some farewell thing for us!

so sweet.

there was this wall at the bbal court tt had all our ugly pics.

n the juniors wrote me a song!

anw we were late for assembly.

hmm.

our last time b4 stepping down that we're late for assembly.

veron n hy were drawing on a balloon for us.

but a really strong wind blew it away and it gt stuck at some place tt we hv no access to,

after which another strong wind came,

the balloon flew n burst.

our hearts ached.

haha.

but it's the thoughts that count!

lessons tt day were alright.

since it was just double lect with ly n jq.

and then double tut with ly, ff and jy.

it was a short day but we had physics remedial.

i just stoned bcoz i was really tired.

helped jq wipe the glasses for college day which ly helped with the washing.

hoho.

n we had the cca relay heats.

i didnt really run well..

rahhh.

n i so blame myself.

thanks fy for the drink aft the run.

we had elections.

interviewed for hours.

thinking hard with the best interest for the 2009 team.

finally decided the excos.

so,

to the excos,

"with great power comes great responsibility".

i hope that u ppl will lead the team well n let it soar to greater heights!

the j2s said their last words b4 stepping down and it was quite sad...

the juniors presented us with a hand-made cake each after that.

so sweet! =)

this is the cake they gave me! can make out the words?

hmmm.
after all these farewell stuff, it was really late.
and i guess that was y i got myself into big trouble again.
13 missed calls.
u were SO angry.
n i knew that was it.
i tried explaining but u nv wanted to accept the explanations i gave.
u nv gave urself a chance to understand,
u nv gave me a chance to help u understand.
at that moment,
i thought to myself,
was i really that bad?

i was upset that u didnt understand me enough.
hurt that u didnt even bothered listening to wad i had to say...
disappointed that u gave me no chances.
and i finally broke down;
after the call.
u team mates got ur wish.
u saw me cry.
but i noe the reason behind y i cried wasnt quite wad u ppl wanted.
but still,
the tears were genuine;
just for a different reason.
cab-bed hme;
yet again.
crying all the way hme.
on the way back,
issues i tot i had already come to terms with came back to me.
if only mom was here,
i would hv had more freedom.
there would be no nid for me to waste money cabbing hme.
no nid for me to run hme from bus stops.
no nid for me to explain y i wasnt hme on time.
no nid for my reasons to be thrown back at me.
and if only i was still living in b.p.
in the house i can call my own.
i really hate staying here.
it seems like im just renting this room for me to slp and study.
i hate going back to something tt's not mine everyday...
but there's really nothing i can do...
==============================================
cried again in the showers.
thinking that she'll nv understand me.
thinking of wad i had done wrong.
and y couldnt she just accept the fact that this is how jc life's going to be.
she ignored me whn i tried talking to her.
n i tried again after dinner.
she finally responded by flaring up.
and the one sided quarrel started with her fierce scoldings and with me just listening to them.
many times she mentioned basketball.
disapproving it.
i really wanted to tell her how wrong she was when she made all these nasty comments.
but i held back.
there was no point in me making her angrier by talking back,
and she wouldnt listen to me anyway.
her tears showed that she cared for me.
and i accepted the fact that i was wrong not to keep my phone with me.
i admit that i've been going home late these days,
but my reason behind is that i just want to spend more time with my team;
but she'l nv understand.
after all the scoldings we didnt talk again.
my tear drops fell like rain last night.
but i got a clearer picture of wad she expects of me.

and i promised myself;
this is going to be the last time i'll ever make her angry again.

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here's the pics i owed u ppl from the m'sia trip...

lauren!

marilyn holding her shoe!

me doing my silly dare...

mr sham n me! haha..

oh yah,
i read lauren's blog and it was just so SWEET.
thanks lauren,
my fellow neutral idiot who doesnt remain neutral sometimes!

thanks juniors for everything ytd.
and jiayou for next year!