crap crap crap crap crap!!!!
this sucks!

LAUREN!!!! QUICK COME BACK!!!!

man, if only im a bomb...
i can just explode n i wun b there anymore!
BOOOOM!

dont u noe the feeling of hving an internal struggle within?
damn!
>.<
i wanna SCREAMMMM!!!!
n cryyy....
to just hide and cry....
and cry.
and cry.
and cry.

haha, i jut tot of another option 'impossible' option.
if only i can just fall into a deep deep slp until sunday...
or even tues.
hahaha.
stupid unfeasible idea of mine.
BOO!
im going crazy...

it's something beyond me....
sad hate sad hate sad hate sad hate sad.
more sad than hate.
=((

chungwayway is miserable.
bcoz of something i dunno y i cant even control.
man, i shld listen to mr meanie's advice n go to slp.
damn.
another sian day tml wif two tuitions.
SIGH.
they stole the time i would hv left for xavier.
im depending on xavier tml.
i really am.
but i doubt i'll even see him.
i'll just go into this mood again n be a lifeless person....

i've always said to myself.
but whn hv i followed wad i said.
man.
i cant control it!!!
the misery,
the urge.
the stupid feeling in me will nv go..............................................
im gonna explode.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!

oh yah, meanie is turning 19 soon.
in like 35 mins.
so....

im blogging now, aft a verrrry loooong time bcoz i think im going to explode if i dun type/say anything.
urgh.
but i dun even noe wad's wif me!!!
>.<
im just feeling v URGH.
damn!
wad's wrong wif me!!!
this...
n that...
arhhh!!!!
i'll stil hv to survive right?
right right right???
BOO!

this.
it's not the first time right?
y am i reacting liddat!
childish behaviour!!!
totally.
but tt's probably the distinct difference now tt i've seen n realised.
BAH!
crappp...
how to stop myself frm feeling liddat!!!!!
>.<
i noe i shldnt b feeling this way but i cant help it;
seriously!!!
someone save me!!!!

that.
it's the same issue over n over again.
i get my hopes high n it falls back to sq one.
crap.
i shld hv asked more clearly.
nw who can i blame.
URGH.
but it's not a lose lose situation..
i mean, i can start all over again.
yes i can.
but will i?
can i live the life i had 2 yrs ago?
crap.
i dun wan to!
ARHHHH.
im going crazy.
n xavier's nt going to be here tml.
i think i'd die!
hopefully jasper n javier can cheer me up...
zzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzz.
sian.

oh man, i need my 'jacob' so badly,
it's a pity i hvnt found him...